Do you wish you can just cast off all your chains and runaway free from life, off into the sunset and never return? Are you tired of working 9-5 for little wages while your boss breaths like a dragon over your shoulder all damn day? Do you ever find yourself lying to the bill collector that calls you all early in the morning and you say, “You have the wrong number. No one lives here by that name. Please delete my number from your system,” knowing good and well it is you? Are you often upset behind the lack of appreciation for all you do? Do you simply desire to be free?
Well M.C. MoHagani Magnetek is here to let you know that if you constantly feel the need to runaway from your life, you need to contact your doctor right away because you could be suffering from Drapetomania.
Drapetomania is a mental health illness that causes all people who are slaves to the rhythm to desire freedom. When you find yourself no longer content with life, sick and tired of being sick and tired of all the bullcorn, you are experiencing an acute case of Drapetomania. If you cannot envision an end to your doom, perpetual servitude and day-to-day struggle, you may be suffering from Chronic Drapetomania and there is absolutely no cure for you except to have the crap beaten out of you.
According to Dr. Samuel Cartwright's “Report on the Diseases and Physical Peculiarities of the Negro Race” (1851), during his study on this mental health disorder he discovered a cure for Drapetomania. Yes, there is hope for your long list of maladies including severe depression and outright indignant behavior. Dr. Cartwright suggests a proper Can of Whoop Ass by the police and/or other agents of government and social control. By having the crap beaten out you, you will no longer have the desire to be free again. However if symptoms resurface, another ass-whooping or Two Cans of Whoop Ass will set you on the fast track to becoming a successful slave to the rhythm.
As of November 9, 2016, the day after the U.S. Presidential Elections, Drapetomania has spread to become more problematic for not only POC’s (that is… People Of Color), but for some everyday White Folks as well. The number of cases reported since Inauguration Day, 2017 is outrageously staggering and too traumatizing to share in this article. More and more people are becoming overwhelmed with all the bullcorn imposed by the current government administration and yearn to be free. Conversely the number of government supported physical, emotional, psychological and symbolic beat downs has exponentially grown with the rise of Drapetomania in American society.
But have no fear... M.C. MoHagani Magnetek has a remedy for you that will prevent you from getting the living daylights stomped out of your funky ass. For Free.99 you can read her blog: Lifestyles of the Not-So Rich and Shameless for her article, “Magnetek’s Home Remedies for Drapetomania and Some Mystery Joint to Subside Your Desire for Freedom”. In this article, Magnetek offers the following 10 Point Program and then some:
· Smoking a Joint in the Morning
· Streaking Down the Street Butt-Ass Naked
· Turning Off Your Tell-a-lie-vision
· Avoid Tweeter Comments from the President
· Smoking a Blunt After Lunch
· Call a Friend to Complain about the Bullcorn
· Find A Career You Love
· Write Poetry
· Infuse Your Dinner with Marjiuana Butter
· Follow Magnetek’s Blog: Lifestyles of the Not-So Rich & Shameless for sheer edutainment value
· And then some
You can have all these tools for success at your fingertips to help you combat symptoms of Drapetomania for Free.99. For practically nothing you can afford to listen to Ms. Magnetek who has suffered from Drapetomania her entire life. She has had more beat downs at the hands of the government than an old school World Wrestling Federation Royal Rumble. Her ability to smoke marijuana every day has given her the wherewithal to not give a damn about being a slave to the rhythm.
If you subscribe to her mailing list, she will send you a mystery joint she found under the cushions of her sofa that may or may not help with your Drapetomania, because it is only a mystery how we get pass all the bullcorn in life.